Walking Through Divorce

Life can be full of disappointments and difficulties. Regardless of the circumstances surrounding your divorce, there are likely hurts that linger. Christ wants to bring you healing and hope. Here are some steps to help you on your journey of healing:

Tell Jesus How You Feel

Revealing your feeling is the beginning of healing. God gave us our emotions, so He understands their impact even more than we do! Anger and depression can be debilitating and destructive emotions when experiencing the pain of divorce. Keeping them inside will only make it more difficult to process them. Express your true emotions to Him and allow God’s Word to instruct your heart and empower you to move towards healing. “When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant…yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.” (Psalm 73:21-24)

Set Healthy Boundaries

You cannot make decisions for other people. Learning to set healthy boundaries will allow you to define clear roles in your relationships. When we lose sight of these boundaries we begin focusing on things beyond our control. When we establish physical, emotional, and communication boundaries, we discover the freedom to work on ourselves and the faith to trust God with everyone and everything else.  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Choose to Forgive

Forgiveness plays a huge role in the recovery process; it requires surrendering and releasing the blame, anger, and resentment you hold against the other person. This can be very difficult to do, so it begins by realizing that God has forgiven our sin. When we didn’t deserve forgiveness, Christ died on the cross for us. Once we have received God’s grace and forgiveness, then we are positioned to forgive ourselves and others. This frees us from the weight of unforgiveness and helps us to move toward healing and renewed hope. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

Commit to Recovery

Recovery takes time. Healing is a process, not an event. It is important to recognize that the death of a marriage is a loss that must be grieved. Invite the Lord to walk with you on your journey of grief as you process your emotions. “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” (Isaiah 43:2)

Develop a Biblical View of Marriage

As a follower of Christ, the Bible is our sole source for truth. When we are looking for direction in our relationships, we will always start with God’s Word. Divorce is not God’s plan for marriage, but it is also not the unforgivable sin. Begin reading the Bible today and discover God’s purpose and direction for your life. If remarriage is in your future, then now is the time to prepare and do it God’s way and in His time. “‘For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Healing comes in community, not isolation. And in a biblical community, you will find community like you’ve never experienced before. Fellowship Church is a hospital full of fellow sinners who can walk with you through this season. The moment you check in to the church, God can begin to heal your broken heart.