Teaching Your Kids About Sexuality
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14
Discussing sexuality with your children might be challenging, but it's a vital part of parenting. In an era when society pushes varying perspectives on sexuality, grounding your parenting in God's Truth is essential in your children becoming the men and women God desires them to be.
The Foundation of Teaching
The foundation of teaching about sexuality should be rooted in the belief that there is one God, who is the creator and authority of all sexuality. The Bible states, "So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them: male and female he created them" (Genesis 1:27). It later says, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Gender and sexuality are a part of God’s perfect plan. Children need to know this is his good and beautiful design.
Take Action: Begin when your children are very young, normalizing discussions of their bodies and the differences between boys and girls, using anatomically correct language. Teach them that parts of their bodies are private, who should and should not be allowed to touch those, and how to be assertive and speak up if anyone ever does.
Impact of Technology
Advances in technology have made it easier for children to be exposed to explicit material at a younger age. The question isn’t “if they are exposed,” but “when they are exposed.” It’s crucial to create an open, non-judgmental atmosphere at home where children can discuss their questions freely.
Take Action: Encourage your children to ask questions and share what they see or hear. Utilize resources to filter your home internet connection and monitor your child’s online activity with products like Covenant Eyes, Bark or OpenDNS Family Shield. And do you know your kids' passwords and have access to their phones? Remember, you are the parent and owner of their technology. At any time, you can “collectnology”! If you don’t regularly “checknology” you’re headed for “wrecknology”!
Look for teachable moments to incorporate discussion of God’s design for men and women and healthy sexuality. Children learn better through repetition rather than a one-time, in-depth sex talk. As you have these conversations, try to keep messages positive, focusing on the beauty and gift of sexual intimacy in the context of God’s plan.
Take Action: When you have these conversations, always make sure to point everything back to the Truth that is found in God’s Word.
Prepare your children for messages they might encounter that contradict Scripture. Encourage them to tell you when they see or hear such things so you can discuss it with them. Periodically ask them what they are hearing in this area and what questions they might have.
Take Action: Remain calm and answer honestly. Silence, or quickly changing the subject, communicates that there is something taboo about human sexuality, which can lead to secrecy and shame.
To effectively guide your children, continually equip yourself with relevant resources. Organizations like Defend Young Minds and the God's Design for Sex book series offer valuable content on such topics.
Take Action: Defend Young Minds is a Christian organization that puts out great material on such topics. “God’s Design for Sex” and “Teaching Your Children Healthy Sexuality” are great books to use as a resource. Continue to ask questions, talk to other parents, and lean into what Fellowship Church has to offer!
Our culture is constantly changing on matters of gender and sexuality, often leaving children confused and searching for answers. The good news is that God’s plan has not and will not ever change! God has given you an amazing gift as a parent. He has created your children intentionally and uniquely with a plan and purpose for their life. Take comfort in knowing God will equip you with the wisdom and discernment to lead them! You’ve got this!