What Forgiveness Really Means

Read

Genesis 50:20 "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."

Think

It’s one of the most powerful statements in all of Scripture. After all the betrayal, the abandonment, and the loss, Joseph stands in front of the very brothers who sold him into slavery and speaks these words. He could have chosen punishment. He had every right. Instead, he chooses forgiveness, and not just the surface-level kind. This is deep, soul-level reconciliation that points to something much bigger than personal peace.

Let’s be honest. Most of us are fine with forgiveness until it costs us something. We're okay forgiving a stranger who cuts us off in traffic or a coworker who forgot a meeting. But what about the parent who walked away? The friend who lied? The spouse who cheated? What about the betrayal that rewrote the entire story of your life?

Joseph isn’t minimizing what was done to him. He doesn’t pretend it didn’t hurt. He names the intention clearly: “You intended to harm me.” But he doesn’t stop there. He zooms out. He sees a sovereign God working through even the ugliest pieces of his story. This wasn’t naïve optimism. It was an anchored faith.

That line, “God intended it for good,” is not just a coping mechanism. It’s a declaration of trust. Joseph believed that God was writing something larger than revenge. And here’s what’s beautiful: forgiveness did not make Joseph weak. It made him free. He wasn’t bound by the bitterness that had every reason to rule him. His response reveals a deep understanding of God’s redemptive power.

In 1981, Pope John Paul II was shot four times in an assassination attempt by Mehmet Ali Ağca. After surviving the attack, the Pope shocked the world two years later by visiting Ağca in prison. The two men sat alone and spoke for nearly twenty minutes. Later, the Pope would say he had "sincerely forgiven" his attacker. He had every reason to keep his distance, every reason to condemn, yet he chose presence and grace.

Forgiveness is rarely deserved. That’s the point. It is not a transaction, it’s a gift. And it’s a gift that flows from understanding how much we ourselves have been forgiven. Joseph’s decision wasn’t just a family matter. It was theological. It was a reflection of the character of God, who forgives repeatedly, fully, and generously.

There’s something else at play here. Notice Joseph’s phrase: “the saving of many lives.” His forgiveness had ripple effects. Had he chosen vengeance, the family would have fractured further. The lineage of Israel might have been lost. But through forgiveness, a nation was preserved. God’s promises continued. Sometimes the hardest things we do carry the greatest impact for those coming after us.

In today’s world, forgiveness is often mocked or misunderstood. It’s seen as weakness, or even as a way of letting someone off the hook. But in the Kingdom of God, forgiveness is strength. It is obedience. It is warfare against bitterness. It is trust that God will do what is just, even when we cannot.

Jesus spoke often of forgiveness—not as an optional practice, but as a central expression of following him. When Peter asked how many times he had to forgive, Jesus answered seventy times seven. In other words, keep forgiving. Keep choosing grace. Even when it’s hard. Even when it feels unfair.

But forgiveness doesn’t always mean restoration. It doesn’t mean trusting someone again immediately. Joseph forgave his brothers, yes, but only after watching their hearts, hearing their sorrow, and seeing their willingness to take responsibility. Forgiveness may be instant. Reconciliation often takes time.

Still, the heart of the matter remains: we forgive because we’ve been forgiven. We release because God released us. Joseph knew that everything that happened, the pit, the prison, the palace, was part of a divine story. His brothers tried to destroy him. God used it to deliver a nation.

That is not just Joseph’s story. That is the gospel. Jesus was betrayed, falsely accused, and crucified. His enemies thought they had won. But God used their evil intentions to bring salvation to the world. As Joseph stood in front of his betrayers, he foreshadowed Jesus, who would one day hang on a cross and say, “Father, forgive them.”

Forgiveness is never easy. But it is always powerful. And when it comes from a heart anchored in God’s goodness, it can change not just your story, but generations after you.

Apply

Who in your life have you held at a distance because of old wounds? It doesn’t mean what they did was okay. But maybe today, you can take a first step toward release. That might look like praying for them, journaling honestly about the pain, or even just deciding to let go of replaying the offense in your mind. Ask God to help you move toward forgiveness, not just for their sake, but for yours.

Pray

God, I don’t always want to forgive. It’s easier to hold on to what they did. But I know you’ve forgiven me so much. Help me trust that your justice is better than mine. Soften my heart where it’s become hard. Let forgiveness flow out of your grace, not my strength. In Jesus’ name. Amen.