The Other Side of the Table

Read

Ephesians 6:1–3 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’—which is the first commandment with a promise—‘so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’”

Think

Every family has a table. For some, it’s the place where laughter echoes and stories are passed around with second helpings. For others, it’s quiet or strained. But the table is where family life happens—meals, corrections, celebrations, and sometimes tensions. And at some point, we all move from one side of the table to the other.

As kids, we sit with small hands and big ears. We receive. We’re taught. We’re told. We are under authority. As we grow older, we shift seats. We become the ones with responsibility. The ones setting the tone. The ones giving direction. The challenge is not just in growing up, but in honoring those who shaped us while we’re still under their roof.

The Apostle Paul quotes the fifth commandment and gives it context: Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. This is not a command to adults reflecting on their childhood. It is a direct word to sons and daughters still in the home, still under the authority of their parents. And he doesn’t offer a loophole. He says obedience is right. Not because parents are perfect. But because honoring authority is part of God’s design.

Obedience is a form of honor. But not just mechanical compliance. It’s about the heart behind the action.

Picture a child being told to sit down during a heated moment. Eventually, they fold their arms, slump into the chair, and say, “Fine. I’m sitting on the outside, but I’m standing on the inside.” That isn’t honor. That’s passive defiance. It’s action without attitude. Compliance without character. True honor involves both.

That’s why tone matters. Facial expressions matter. Timing matters. A slammed door says as much as a shouted word. An eye roll speaks louder than a response. We sometimes think obedience is enough, but God cares about the spirit behind it.

This isn’t just about keeping peace in the house. It’s about forming something deeper in the soul. Because how you learn to respond to authority in your home shapes how you’ll respond to God later. If correction always feels like control, or if rules always feel like rejection, it becomes harder to receive discipline from your heavenly Father too.

Your parents are not perfect. But they are the authority God has placed in your life for a season. When you choose to respect their voice, even when you disagree, you are ultimately respecting the One who put them in your life. That’s what Paul means when he says, “in the Lord.” Obedience isn’t blind. It’s rooted in trust that God is working through your parents, even when you don’t see it.

Of course, there are limits. If a parent asks you to sin or violate your conscience before God, obedience to Christ takes precedence. But those situations are rare. Far more often, our resistance comes not from righteousness, but from pride. We want to be in charge. We want to make our own rules. We want freedom without covering. But that isn’t how God grows us. Being under authority is not a curse. It is preparation.

Every stage of life requires humility. You will always have someone you answer to—teachers, coaches, bosses, leaders. If you don’t learn how to listen well, respond well, and carry yourself with honor under your parents, you will carry rebellion into every other authority structure too.

Some teenagers believe that freedom comes when they finally move out. But real freedom comes when you live in alignment with God’s way. You can have your own place and still be in bondage to bitterness or entitlement. You can still be reacting against your parents years after you’ve stopped living with them. That’s why this commandment isn’t just for your parents’ sake. It’s for yours.

Paul says it comes with a promise. “That it may go well with you.” Honor isn’t about making your parents feel better. It’s about forming you into someone who walks in wisdom, maturity, and blessing. When you honor authority, you walk in the covering of God’s design. And that covering brings life.

But honor doesn’t mean you don’t have a voice. There’s room for honest conversations, questions, and even disagreement. What matters is how you bring it. Are you coming with humility or hostility? Are you seeking to understand, or just to push back? There’s a difference between having an opinion and having an honoring posture.

If you are in a season where you are still under the roof of your parents, this commandment is not abstract. It is daily. It shows up in how you respond when asked to take out the trash. It shows up in whether you speak respectfully about them to your friends. It shows up in the small, consistent choices you make when no one is watching. Honor is not just a holiday card. It’s how you carry yourself in the everyday.

One day, you’ll move to the other side of the table. You’ll be the one making decisions, paying bills, setting boundaries, giving instruction. The way you respond now is preparing you for that future. If you let God shape your heart through this season, you’ll be ready for what comes next. If you resist it, you’ll just carry the same struggle into the next house.

Obedience may not always feel rewarding in the moment. But it shapes you. It softens you. It matures you. And more than anything, it honors the God who sees the heart.

Apply

Ask yourself today, “What kind of tone have I been using at home?” If you’re still living with your parents, notice the small moments—a chore, a request, a rule. Choose to respond not just with action, but with attitude that reflects honor. If it’s been tense lately, take the first step to reset. Apologize if needed. Respect isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.

Pray

God, thank you for the people you’ve placed over me. Even when I don’t agree, help me respond with a heart that honors you. Teach me to obey with humility and speak with respect. Shape me into someone who walks in wisdom, both now and in the future. I want to live in a way that reflects your order and your grace. In Jesus’ name. Amen.