Craving Control

Read

Proverbs 25:28 “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.”

Think

Most of us don’t wake up hoping to lose control. We don’t start the day planning to lash out at our kids, binge half a season on Netflix, or buy something we don’t need. We intend to eat better, think clearer, respond kindly, and live with purpose. But somewhere between intention and impact, something short-circuits. Our emotions get triggered, our appetites get loud, and our spiritual defenses quietly crumble. Before we know it, we’ve reacted instead of responded. We’ve chased comfort instead of calling. We’ve let impulse win over integrity. And at the end of it all, we’re left wondering, “Why am I like this?”

Proverbs 25:28 gives us a sobering image: a person without self-control is like a city with broken down walls. In ancient culture, that wasn’t just poetic—it was dangerous. Cities depended on their walls for protection. Without them, they were exposed to invaders, looters, and wild animals. There was no safety, no structure, no peace. That’s what happens to our inner world when we live without restraint. We become vulnerable. Open to every temptation, emotion, and distraction that knocks on the door. And just like a broken city, our lives start to show signs of wear—relational tension, spiritual fatigue, moral compromise, emotional instability.

But here’s the part we often misunderstand: self-control isn’t about clenching your fists tighter. It’s not about striving harder to behave better. The kind of control Scripture speaks of isn’t rooted in self-reliance—it’s rooted in Spirit-dependence. The Greek word used by Paul in Galatians 5—egkrateia—doesn’t mean willpower as we understand it. It carries the idea of dominion, strength from within, the power to master desires. But the source of that strength isn’t us. It’s the Spirit.

That’s what makes self-control a fruit and not a formula. Fruit doesn’t grow through force. It grows through connection. Jesus said in John 15, “Apart from me, you can do nothing.” That includes resisting the urge to say what we shouldn’t, click where we shouldn’t, eat what we shouldn’t, or chase what we shouldn’t. The more connected we are to him, the more the Spirit produces strength in us—not just to say “no” to sin, but to say “yes” to something better. The goal isn’t mere restraint. It’s redirection. Our desires aren’t the enemy. They’re just meant to be led, not followed.

American philosopher Dallas Willard, once said, “The disciplined person is one who can do the right thing at the right time in the right way with the right spirit.” That’s the kind of self-control the Spirit is forming in you. Not robotic behavior, but Spirit-formed freedom. The ability to act, speak, and live in alignment with what matters most—not what feels most urgent. That’s the irony of control: we think grabbing it will give us power, but surrendering it is what actually sets us free.

Think about the last time you lost control. Maybe it was anger. Maybe it was a private indulgence. Maybe it was that spiral of anxious thoughts that felt impossible to stop. What would it have looked like to pause and pray in that moment instead of pushing through? What would it feel like to be so rooted in Christ that your first instinct is surrender, not self-defense?

We can’t live self-controlled lives without the daily help of the Holy Spirit. And that’s actually good news. Because it means you’re not a slave to your impulses. You’re not doomed to repeat the same cycles. You’re not weak—you’re just invited. Invited to walk with the One who rebuilds broken walls, restores weary souls, and strengthens what’s been out of control for too long.

Apply

Think of one area where impulse tends to win in your life—whether it’s how you talk, how you eat, how you spend, or how you react. Take a small but specific step today to build a “wall” in that place. Set a boundary. Create a limit. Replace the habit with prayer or accountability. For example, you might put your phone in another room after 8 PM, choose water instead of sugar when you're tired, or ask a friend to text you midday for a check-in. Don’t try to fix everything at once. Just build one brick of surrender today.

Pray

Jesus, I confess I’ve tried to fix myself more than I’ve surrendered to you. I’ve lived without walls—unprotected, reactive, and tired. But I believe your Spirit can rebuild what’s broken. Teach me to rely on your strength, not my own. Help me walk in step with you today—choosing surrender over impulse, and obedience over control. In Jesus’ name. Amen.