Scared Anyway

Read

Acts 4:5-8 "The next day the rulers, the elders and the teachers of the law met in Jerusalem. Annas the high priest was there, and so were Caiaphas, John, Alexander and others of the high priest’s family. They had Peter and John brought before them and began to question them: 'By what power or what name did you do this?' Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them: 'Rulers and elders of the people!'"

Think

Everybody knows the feeling of the seconds before you speak.

The teacher asks a question, you are almost sure you know the answer, and your hand is at about knee height. Your heart is going faster than it has any right to go. You can hear it. And there is a voice running the whole time saying, “Do not. What if you are wrong? Everybody will look at you.”

Nothing dangerous is happening. It is a classroom. And your body is acting like you are about to jump off something.

Now put Peter in Acts 4:5.

Look at whose names Luke lists. Annas the high priest. Caiaphas. Others of the high priest’s family. Those are the same names from a few weeks earlier. That is the same house. Peter has stood in that courtyard before, at that fire, in front of those people, and he folded in front of a servant girl.

Now he is not in the courtyard. He is inside, in the actual room, in front of the actual council, being asked a direct question.

And Luke says, “Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them.”

Here is what the text does not say. It does not say Peter felt nothing. It does not say his hands were steady or his voice did not shake or his stomach was calm. Scripture is not shy about fear. It tells us plainly when people are afraid. It just does not tell us Peter stopped being afraid. It tells us Peter spoke.

Boldness is not the absence of fear. It is deciding Jesus matters more than your fear.

That distinction will either free you or you will keep waiting for a feeling that is never coming.

Because a lot of students are sitting around waiting to feel ready. Waiting for the nerves to go away before they say anything, invite anybody, or admit anything. And the nerves are not going away. Peter is standing in front of the men who killed Jesus and I promise you his heart was pounding.

He spoke anyway. That is the whole thing.

So what does this look like on a Friday, when there is no council and nobody is arresting anybody?

It looks like inviting a friend to The Mix even though there is a real chance they say no or say something sarcastic about it.

It looks like telling a teammate you will pray for them and then actually doing it right there instead of promising to later.

It looks like somebody asking if you are religious and you saying, “Yes, I follow Jesus,” instead of the softened version you usually give.

It looks like not joining in when the whole group is tearing somebody apart, which will cost you more social capital than almost anything on this list.

It looks like standing for what is right in a room where it would be so much easier to say nothing.

Every one of those will make your heart beat faster. That is not a sign you are doing it wrong. That is the feeling of doing it at all.

And notice where the strength comes from. Filled with the Holy Spirit. Not filled with confidence. Not filled with a good night of sleep. Peter is not stronger than you. He is filled with the same Spirit who is available to you right now.

You are not being asked to feel brave tomorrow. You are being asked to speak while you are scared, and to trust that the Spirit in you is stronger than the fear in you.

Apply

Do the scared thing – Choose one thing off that list you know you would do if you were not nervous. Do it this week while you are still nervous. Do not wait until it feels easy, because it will not.

Pray

Holy Spirit, fill me. I am not asking to stop being afraid, I am asking to stop being controlled by it. There is one thing I know you are asking me to do and I keep putting it off. Give me the words and the guts to do it this week. In Jesus’ name. Amen.