Junk in the Trunk

Read

Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Think

Years ago, Lisa and I loaded up the family for a trip to Sea World in San Antonio. The twins were about a year old, EJ was three. We had a Suburban at the time, and even with that much space, there was no way all the luggage would fit inside the car. So I piled it on top. Portable playpens, strollers, duffle bags. I had these cheap luggage carriers strapped to the roof, and by the time I was done, the car looked like it belonged to a family fleeing the country. It was August in Texas, triple-digit heat, and loading that car was a CrossFit workout. I needed two showers before we even left the driveway.

We had a great trip. Some arguments, because everybody is in close quarters, but overall, good. When it was time to head back to Dallas, I packed the car again, loaded everything on top, and we hit the road. When we turned into our neighborhood, I was so relieved. I could see our house. I pushed the garage door opener, pressed the gas, and in my excitement, I forgot about the luggage on top of the car. Boards and drywall went flying. Nails everywhere. I ripped the top of the garage clean off. It was expensive to fix.

I forgot about the bags for one second. One second. And it cost me a garage.

I think a lot of us are driving through life the same way. We have baggage piled so high on top of our lives that we have forgotten it is even there. We are so used to carrying it that it feels normal. But the people around us can see it. They see the damage. They hear the crash every time we pull into a relationship, a conversation, or a conflict. And it is always more expensive than we expected.

Solomon wrote, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Above all else. That is priority language. Before your career, your finances, your schedule, your social life. Guard your heart. Because whatever is stored in your heart will eventually come out. It will flow out of you in how you love, how you lead, how you argue, how you forgive, how you parent. You cannot compartmentalize what is inside. It leaks. It always leaks.

So what is in your trunk? What is in that duffle bag you have been carrying around since childhood? I have talked to thousands of people over the years, and most of us are hauling around bags we packed decades ago without ever opening them up to see what is still inside.

Maybe it is your family of origin. That is a heavy bag. The family you grew up in wields more power over your life than almost anything else. It is where you learned your self-esteem, your values, your communication style, your view of conflict. Maybe you grew up in a home where your parents divorced, or where one parent was emotionally absent, or where anger was the default setting. You did not choose that family, but you inherited its patterns. And those patterns will replay in every relationship you enter until you identify them and deal with them.

Maybe it is your temperament bag. That spontaneous personality that attracted everyone early on now drives people crazy because nobody knows what you will do next. Or that organized, disciplined nature that seemed so steady is now suffocating the people closest to you because there is no room for creativity or grace.

Then there is how you handle conflict. I have observed three styles over the years. Some people handle conflict Haagen-Dazs style. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing.” They just ice you out. Cold shoulder. Silent treatment. Weeks of nothing. Others go terrorist style. One small trigger and the whole thing detonates. No warning. Just an explosion that leaves everyone scrambling for cover. And then there is the Tupperware approach. You take the offense, seal it in a container, put it in the back of the refrigerator, and two months later somebody opens it. And it is ugly.

Here is the deal. God does not want you to pretend the bags are not there. He does not want you to keep driving into garages and wondering why things keep breaking. He wants you to pull over, open the trunk, and let him go through the contents with you. That is what “guarding your heart” really means. It is not pretending you have no baggage. It is being honest about what you are carrying and inviting God into the process of sorting through it. Sometimes that means counseling. Sometimes that means a hard conversation with a family member. Sometimes it just means getting on your knees and saying, “God, I have been carrying this for twenty years and I am tired.”

I forgot about the bags on top of my Suburban for one second, and it cost me a garage. Some of us have been ignoring our baggage for years, even decades, and wondering why we keep tearing things apart. Open the trunk. Go through the contents. Let God heal what is broken inside, because everything you do flows from it.

Apply

Open one bag – Identify one piece of emotional or relational baggage you have been carrying. Write it down. Then take it to God in prayer and, if possible, to a trusted friend, pastor, or counselor this week. Guarding your heart starts with being honest about what is in it.

Pray

Father, I have been driving around with baggage I have tried to ignore. I know it is there, and I know it is causing damage. Give me the courage to open the trunk and look at what I have been carrying. Show me the patterns from my past that are shaping my present. I do not want to keep crashing into the same walls. Heal what is broken in me and help me guard my heart the way you intended. In Jesus’ name. Amen.