If You Had Been Here

Read

John 11:17-22 “On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. Now Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home. ‘Lord,’ Martha said to Jesus, ‘if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.’”

Think

There are sentences you rehearse before you ever say them. You know exactly what you would tell the person if you got the chance. Maybe it is an apology. Maybe it is a question. Maybe it is frustration you have been carrying for days. By the time the conversation finally happens, the words are already waiting.

Martha had words waiting for Jesus. When he finally arrived, Lazarus had already died. Martha went out to meet him and told him that if he had been there, her brother would not have died. That is not a polished church answer. It is grief mixed with faith.

What makes Martha’s response powerful is that she does not hide the disappointment. She believes Jesus could have done something, which is exactly why his delay hurts so much. Yet she also says she still believes God will hear Jesus. Her faith is wounded, but it is not gone.

Sometimes students think faith means never saying anything negative to God. So you pray safe prayers while your real thoughts stay locked somewhere else. But Scripture gives us people like Martha, David, Job, and others who speak honestly. God is not threatened by the sentence, “I wish you had done this differently.” He already knows you feel it.

Think about a friendship where you can only say positive things because you are afraid one honest conversation will destroy it. That is not a very strong friendship. Healthy relationships can survive truth. Your relationship with God is not fragile. You can bring him the part of your heart that is confused, disappointed, or even angry. Honesty is not the opposite of faith. Sometimes honesty is how faith keeps breathing.

Martha does not stay far away from Jesus because she is hurt. She runs toward him with the hurt. That may be the invitation for you today. Stop editing your prayer into what you think God wants to hear. Tell him what you wish had happened. Tell him what you do not understand. Then, like Martha, leave room for trust beside the disappointment. You can say, “If you had been here,” and still keep talking to Jesus.

Apply

Pray the real prayer – Take the situation you have been editing when you pray and tell God the unfiltered truth about it. Be respectful, but be real. End by telling him one thing you still choose to trust.

Pray

Jesus, there are things I wish you had done differently. There are moments I do not understand and answers I wish had come sooner. Thank you that I do not have to hide those feelings from you. Meet me in my disappointment and help my trust keep growing even here. In Jesus’ name. Amen.