A Wide Berth

Read

Proverbs 26:4-5 "Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes."

Think

I have been a senior pastor for over thirty-five years. I grew up as a pastor’s kid. I have been in full-time ministry my entire adult life. And in all those decades, I have rarely gotten into pig fights. Not because I do not have opinions. I have plenty. Not because people do not come after me. They do. They always have. From the very beginning of my ministry, people have criticized, attacked, and misrepresented me. But early on, I made a decision that has served me well for over three decades: I do not read the negative posts. I do not dive into the comments section. I do not watch the critical videos people make about me. I take what I call "a wide berth" around the pig pen.

That discipline did not start with social media. It started with letters. Before the internet, people used to write anonymous letters. No name. No return address. Just venom on paper. I remember getting them as a young pastor. The handwriting was always angry, the tone was always self-righteous, and the content was always hurtful. Some of those letters came from people who sat in the pews on Sunday morning with a smile, then went home and spilled poison onto a page. I learned early that when you chase every critic, you stop chasing the calling.

That principle carried straight into the digital age. When the letters became tweets and the notes became posts, the discipline stayed the same: you do not have to read every word people write about you. In fact, you probably should not. There is a difference between constructive feedback from people who love you and destructive criticism from people who do not know you. The first is gold. The second is mud. And you have to know the difference.

Proverbs 26:4-5 seems like a contradiction on the surface. "Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes." Which is it? Do you answer or not? The answer is: both. The wisdom is in knowing which moment calls for which response. Sometimes silence is the answer. Sometimes a measured, thoughtful response is necessary. The discernment is the point. Solomon is not giving you a formula. He is giving you a framework. And the framework requires wisdom, not autopilot.

Most of the time online, verse four applies: "Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him." When you engage with foolishness at its level, you become foolish. When you match the tone of the critic, you lose the tone of the shepherd. When you descend into the mud to make your point, the mud does not care about your point. It just wants company. That is not cowardice. That is wisdom. There is a massive difference between the two, and most of the internet does not know it.

My thirty-five years of taking a wide berth did not make me weak. It gave me staying power. While others burned out fighting battles that did not matter, I kept building what God called me to build. While others got distracted by every negative comment and every critical voice, I kept my head down and focused on the work. The wide berth is not about ignoring real problems. Real problems deserve attention. Legitimate concerns from people who are invested in the church deserve a response. But the random critic hiding behind a screen name? The person who has never attended your church but has a ten-page opinion about your ministry? That is not a real problem. That is a pig pen disguised as a conversation.

There is a cost to engagement that nobody talks about. Every minute you spend reading negative comments is a minute you are not spending in prayer. Every hour you spend crafting a response to someone who will never be satisfied is an hour you are not spending with your family. Every ounce of emotional energy you pour into defending yourself online is an ounce that is not available for the person sitting across from you who genuinely needs counsel. The pig pen does not just waste your time. It steals from the people who actually matter.

You do not have to respond to everything. You do not have to defend yourself against every accusation, correct every false narrative, or win every online debate. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is take a wide berth and keep walking. Let God handle your reputation. He has been doing it longer than the internet has been around, and he is significantly better at it. The wide berth is not a retreat. It is a strategy. It is the decision to invest your energy in what God has called you to build rather than what critics are trying to tear down.

Apply

Guard your inputs – For the next seven days, commit to not reading the comments section on any post, article, or video. Notice how it affects your peace, your mood, and your focus. Let the experiment teach you what a wide berth feels like.

Pray

God, give me the wisdom to know when to speak and when to stay silent. I do not want to waste my energy on fights that do not matter while neglecting the calling you have placed on my life. Help me take a wide berth around the things that steal my peace and focus on the things that build your kingdom. In Jesus’ name. Amen.